did it! And I lived! The walls didn't collapse, the world didn'tt end...and most amazing of all...nobody screamed that I was a horrible person! From that moment on my whole attitude toward life and to- ward Femme Personation changed.

Now admittedly this was a special situation. I was speaking to a Group Therapy unit of which I was a member, which was under the guidance of a trained psychologist. I had gone into the ther- apy as one last ditch try at eliminating this compulsion, after 37 years of fighting it. I don't suggest that you try it with just any ten people.

Nevertheless, ten friends are ten friends....and the desire for acceptance and the fear of rejection doesn't leave you because you are in therapy. It was rough--real rough. But it changed my attitude toward people.

I hope I can get this across. It's a subtle point and may noti fit your case at all. My attitude toward people had been, all my life, "They wouldn't like me if they knew about this horrible thing? Femme Personation! " But, suddenly ten people knew...and they still liked me. They met with me outside the group, called me up, and two of the women even went out with me. I was accepted. Now, there was a slight change in my attitude toward people. Now, there: were people who knew of my transvestism and still liked me. Now, I could look at other people and say, "They like me. I wonder if they would still like me if they knew?" Suddenly it didn't make any difference! Some people who knew did like me. I was no longer a pariah in my own mind. By being accepted by other people I had suddenly accepted myself.

But because I had made my admission in a group that is supposed to accept I had to go further. Since then I have openly admitted transvestism to at least nine other friends. No rejection! None! I don't suppose that will always hold true. But it won't make any difference any more. I have been accepted by some. I will be acc-- epted by others. And so I accept myself.

so much

I wanted to talk about this subject because it means to me, and because I had gone so far in the other direction. I think I have tried every means known to man to eliminate transvest-- ism. I have tried individual psychiatry, group psychology, relig- ion, alcohol, abstinence, marriage, hard masculine work--everythinge All to no avail. I can eliminate the expression..for years I did

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